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Our mission

Bird watcher also bird-watcher n. A person who observes and identifies birds in their natural surroundings.

According to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service forty eight million people watch birds. We have discovered that certain demographics of Bird Watchers are more sexually active than others.The elderly find that bird watching is not strenuous. And this erotic experience can be enjoyed privately through binoculars. Most disturbing are the groups of bird watchers seeking vicarious sexual gratification in the woods. Oftentimes they gather in relatively large groups and, aroused by birds’ mating rituals, they get involved in pretty sickening orgies (no, you don’t know about it, probably – there are many things that are yet to be discovered and accepted by general public). That, in turn, creates enough noise to interrupt birds’ mating, and that leads to a drop in the species population and can eventually result in extinction. End of story.

A psychologist who studies bird watching says: “Adults, disguised as bird watchers mask their debauchery by taking trips in groups. They can then achieve climax in the safety of the woods. Particularly disturbing is the high number of senior citizens using binoculars and telescopes to observe birds mating.

“These horny Peeping Toms satisfy their craving for sex by focusing their debasement on birds. This perversion must be halted, otherwise the entire moral fibre of our nation is going to hell.”.

A former birdwatcher, who recently resigned from his club in Meritt Island, FL, said:“I am sad about the reprehensible behavior of these bird watchers who need to satisfy their pornographic pleasures. Shame on them!”.

A member of Congress, who requested anonymity, is quietly drafting legislature that would levy stiff fines against people caught with bird porn in their possession, either photos or internet images.

For further information on how you can help discourage senior citizens from bird watching and, instead, to channel their energies into socially accepted activities, please email us at info@stopbirdporn.org or call us at (212) 592 3677.

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