Dianne goes to the doctor, and says, “Doctor, I’ve got a bit of a problem. I’ll have to take my clothes off to show you.”brbrThe doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready.brbr”Well, what is it?” he asks.brbr”It’s a bit embarrassing,” she replies. “These two green circles have appeared on the inside of my thighs.”brbrThe doctor examines her and finally admits he has no idea what the cause is. Then he suddenly asks, “Is your boyfriend a Harley rider?”brbrThe woman blushes and says, “Well, actually he is.”brbr”That’s the problem,” the doctor says. “Tell him his earrings aren’t real gold.”
President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope gets sent to hell. The Pope explained the situation to the devil, he checked out all of the paperwork, and the error was acknowledged. The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem and correct the error. The next day, the Pope was called in and the devil said his good-bye as he went off to heaven. On his way up, he met Clinton who was on his way down, and they stopped to chat.brbrPope: “Sorry about the mix up.”brbrPresident Clinton: “No problem.”brbrPope: “Well, I’m really excited about going to heaven.”brbrPresident Clinton: “Why’s that? It’s not that great.”brbrPope: “All my life I’ve wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.”brbrPresident Clinton: “Sorry, Your Holiness, You’re a day late.”
How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?brbr1) “Hmmm … well there’s an interesting question isn’t it?”br2) “Define ‘light bulb’ …”br3) “How can you be sure it needs changing?”br4) Three. One to change it and two to stand around arguing over whether or not the light bulb exists.