The New Virus » Jokes

what did one mountain say to the other?…

admin — Tue, 22 May 2012 11:40:51 +0000

what did one mountain say to the other?

meet you in the valley!

why did the cow cross the road? becaus…

admin — Mon, 21 May 2012 06:16:20 +0000

why did the cow cross the road?

because he wanted the good grass

Two ships were at sea, a British one an…

admin — Sun, 20 May 2012 18:44:50 +0000

Two ships were at sea, a British one and a German one. Suddenly the British ship malfunctioned and they were going down
So they radioed the Germans and said” mayday mayday. We’re sinking!!”

Some time lapsed and the Germans replied, “what are you s-thinking about?”

What does Wal-Mart, Zellers and Michael Jackson have in common? …

admin — Fri, 18 May 2012 18:50:14 +0000

What does Wal-Mart, Zellers and Michael Jackson have in common?brbrBoy’s underwear half off.

How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb? …

admin — Thu, 17 May 2012 12:36:36 +0000

How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?brbr1) “Hmmm … well there’s an interesting question isn’t it?”br2) “Define ‘light bulb’ …”br3) “How can you be sure it needs changing?”br4) Three. One to change it and two to stand around arguing over whether or not the light bulb exists.

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking . …

admin — Thu, 17 May 2012 05:53:22 +0000

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking … and one blonde says to the other, “Which do you think is farther away … Florida or the moon?”

The other blonde turns and says “Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida …?”

Ever notice how so many of women’s problems can be traced to the male gender? …

admin — Thu, 17 May 2012 02:20:29 +0000

Ever notice how so many of women’s problems can be traced to the male gender?

1) MENstruation
2) MENopause
3) MENtal breakdown
4) GUYnecology
5) HIMmorrhoids
…

How do crazy people go through the forest? …

admin — Wed, 16 May 2012 23:49:29 +0000

How do crazy people go through the forest?

They take the psycho path.

If your wife and your lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, …

admin — Wed, 16 May 2012 18:14:01 +0000

If your wife and your lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to the cinema?

It was a hot summer day, and the old courthouse was just as hot. …

admin — Wed, 16 May 2012 17:02:32 +0000

It was a hot summer day, and the old courthouse was just as hot. The air was thick and humid, and the jury was having a hard time staying focused. One of the jurors succumbed to the heat, falling asleep just as the victim was being questioned by the prosecutor.brbr”The defendant is accused of making obscene phone calls to your home. Would you please tell the jury precisely what the defendant said when he called you,” asked the prosecutor.brbr”I can’t do that,” the victim replied. “It was so crude and disgusting. I can’t use language like that.”brbr”Would it help to just write it down?”brbrThe victim wrote out every detail of what the obscene caller had said, and passed the note to the judge. The judge read the note. It was then passed to the prosecutor, the defense attorney, and finally to the jury.brbrThe sleeping juror was seated at the back corner of the jury box, and was the last to receive the note. He was awoken with a nudge from an attractive young juror, seated next to him, and she passed him the note. He read it, gazed in awe at the woman, and read it again. He turned to her, smiling broadly, and winked. He then put the note into his pocket.brbrThe judge demanded, “Please pass that note to the bailiff.”brbr”But your honor,” the juror protested, “It’s a private matter.”