The New Virus » Jokes

What does Wal-Mart, Zellers and Michael Jackson have in common? …

admin — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 11:06:24 +0000

What does Wal-Mart, Zellers and Michael Jackson have in common?brbrBoy’s underwear half off.

Two ships were at sea, a British one an…

admin — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 05:46:41 +0000

Two ships were at sea, a British one and a German one. Suddenly the British ship malfunctioned and they were going down
So they radioed the Germans and said” mayday mayday. We’re sinking!!”

Some time lapsed and the Germans replied, “what are you s-thinking about?”

How do crazy people go through the forest? …

admin — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 06:21:18 +0000

How do crazy people go through the forest?

They take the psycho path.

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a briefcase? …

admin — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:12:06 +0000

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a briefcase?brbrBranch Manager.

Yo momma is so ugly, she makes blind children cry. …

admin — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 08:50:20 +0000

Yo momma is so ugly, she makes blind children cry.

What is the smallest part of a FIAT? …

admin — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 02:24:30 +0000

What is the smallest part of a FIAT?brbrThe owners brain.

Where can you buy a 3 headed flying pur…

admin — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 15:49:00 +0000

Where can you buy a 3 headed flying purple camel with 74 noses?

Ebay.

A guy walks into a bar and demands to know "Who’s the strongest in here?" …

admin — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 17:19:59 +0000

A guy walks into a bar and demands to know “Who’s the strongest in here?”brbrThe toughest guy looks at him and says “I am the strongest around here!”brbrThe other guy politely asks “Can you help me push my car to the gas station?”

President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, …

admin — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 00:40:51 +0000

President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope gets sent to hell. The Pope explained the situation to the devil, he checked out all of the paperwork, and the error was acknowledged. The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem and correct the error. The next day, the Pope was called in and the devil said his good-bye as he went off to heaven. On his way up, he met Clinton who was on his way down, and they stopped to chat.brbrPope: “Sorry about the mix up.”brbrPresident Clinton: “No problem.”brbrPope: “Well, I’m really excited about going to heaven.”brbrPresident Clinton: “Why’s that? It’s not that great.”brbrPope: “All my life I’ve wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.”brbrPresident Clinton: “Sorry, Your Holiness, You’re a day late.”

"A couple of New Jersey hunters are out…

admin — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 12:01:41 +0000

“A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

“The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’

“The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: ‘Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’

“There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: ‘OK, now what?’”